“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” — Mark 11:25
Prayer is one of the greatest gifts God has given us. Through prayer, we draw near to Him, receive His peace, seek His guidance, and grow in our relationship with Him. Yet the Bible also teaches that there are attitudes of the heart that can affect our fellowship with God.
One of the most significant is unforgiveness.
Many people continue praying while quietly holding onto resentment, bitterness, anger, or hurt. They may faithfully attend church, read their Bible, and pray every day, yet their hearts remain weighed down by wounds they have never released to God.
Jesus taught that forgiveness is not optional for those who follow Him. It is an essential part of living a life that honours God and keeps our hearts open to His work. Forgiveness does not erase what happened or excuse wrongdoing. Instead, it is a decision to release the desire for revenge and entrust justice to God.
What Is Forgiveness?
Biblical forgiveness is choosing to release someone from the debt you believe they owe you because of the hurt they caused.
It does not mean:
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- Pretending the offence never happened.
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- Saying that sin is acceptable.
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- Ignoring justice.
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- Remaining in an abusive or dangerous situation.
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- Immediately restoring trust.
Forgiveness is a decision of obedience that places the situation into God’s hands.
Trust may need to be rebuilt over time, and healthy boundaries may still be necessary. But forgiveness frees your heart from the prison of bitterness.
Why Forgiveness Matters in Prayer
Jesus connected forgiveness directly to prayer.
He said:
“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” — Mark 11:25
Notice the timing.
Jesus says when you stand praying.
Before focusing on your requests, examine your heart.
Is there someone you refuse to forgive?
Is there bitterness that has taken root?
God cares deeply about the condition of our hearts because prayer is about relationship, not merely making requests.
Jesus’ Teaching on Forgiveness
Throughout His ministry, Jesus consistently taught forgiveness.
The Lord’s Prayer
When Jesus taught His disciples how to pray, He included forgiveness as an essential part of prayer.
“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” — Matthew 6:12
Immediately after teaching the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus explained why forgiveness matters.
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” — Matthew 6:14–15
Jesus is not teaching that we earn God’s forgiveness by forgiving others. Salvation is a gift of God’s grace through faith in Christ.
Rather, He teaches that people who have received God’s forgiveness should demonstrate that transformed heart by extending forgiveness to others. A persistent refusal to forgive reveals a heart that is resisting God’s work.
Forgive Again and Again
Peter once asked Jesus:
“Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Jesus answered:
“I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” — Matthew 18:21–22
Jesus was not giving a mathematical limit.
He was teaching that forgiveness should become a way of life.
The Dangers of Unforgiveness
Unforgiveness affects far more than one relationship.
It can slowly influence every area of your spiritual life.
It Creates Bitterness
The writer of Hebrews warns:
“See to it… that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” — Hebrews 12:15
Bitterness rarely stays hidden.
It affects your thoughts.
Your words.
Your relationships.
Your peace.
Your joy.
It Robs You of Peace
When we hold onto anger, we often replay painful memories repeatedly. Instead of experiencing God’s peace, we remain trapped by yesterday’s wounds. Forgiveness doesn’t change the past, but it can free you from continually reliving it.
It Damages Relationships
An unforgiving heart often leads to:
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- Anger.
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- Resentment.
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- Suspicion.
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- Broken relationships.
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- Isolation.
Forgiveness creates space for healing, wisdom, and reconciliation where possible.
It Affects Your Spiritual Growth
It is difficult to grow spiritually while nurturing bitterness.
As we surrender unforgiveness to God, our hearts become more receptive to His love, His Word, and His transforming work.
Can Unforgiveness Delay Answers to Prayer?
The Bible teaches that our relationship with God and the condition of our hearts matter when we pray. Jesus’ teaching in Mark 11:25 and Matthew 6:14–15 shows that forgiveness is closely connected to prayer.
Scripture also teaches that certain attitudes and actions can hinder our fellowship with God. For example:
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- Pride (James 4:6)
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- Unconfessed sin (Psalm 66:18)
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- Selfish motives (James 4:3)
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- Unforgiveness (Mark 11:25)
This does not mean that every delayed answer to prayer is caused by unforgiveness.
The Bible gives many reasons why prayers may not be answered immediately. Sometimes God is teaching us patience. Sometimes His timing is different from ours. Sometimes He has a better plan than the one we imagined.
However, if we know we are holding bitterness against someone, Jesus calls us to deal with it honestly before God.
Forgiveness removes a barrier in our hearts and allows us to approach God with greater freedom and sincerity.
Forgiveness Reflects the Gospel
One of the greatest reasons to forgive is because we have first been forgiven.
Paul writes:
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” — Ephesians 4:32
Think about how much God has forgiven us.
Every sin.
Every failure.
Every act of rebellion.
Through Jesus Christ, we have received mercy that we could never earn.
When we remember God’s grace toward us, it becomes easier to extend grace to others.
What Forgiveness Does Not Mean
Many people struggle to forgive because they misunderstand what forgiveness requires.
Forgiveness does not mean:
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- You must trust the person immediately.
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- You must pretend you were never hurt.
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- You must allow continued abuse.
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- You must remove healthy boundaries.
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- You must stop seeking justice through appropriate and lawful means.
Forgiveness is releasing the desire for personal revenge while trusting God to deal justly with every situation.
How to Forgive Someone
Forgiveness is often a process rather than a single emotional moment.
Here are some practical steps.
1. Be Honest with God
Tell God exactly how you feel.
He already knows your pain.
Bring your hurt to Him in prayer.
2. Choose to Forgive
Forgiveness is a decision before it becomes a feeling.
You may still feel hurt, but you can choose obedience.
3. Pray for the Person
Jesus said:
“Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” — Matthew 5:44
Praying for someone who has hurt you can soften your heart over time.
4. Leave Justice to God
God is perfectly just.
He sees everything.
Trust Him to deal with every wrong in His perfect way and timing.
5. Keep Releasing the Offence
Sometimes painful memories return.
When they do, choose forgiveness again instead of returning to bitterness.
A Prayer for Forgiveness
Heavenly Father,
Thank You for forgiving me through Jesus Christ.
You know the hurt I carry and the people who have wounded me. Today I choose to release them into Your hands. Help me to forgive as You have forgiven me.
Take away bitterness, anger, and resentment. Fill my heart with Your peace and Your love.
Teach me to trust You with justice and to walk in the freedom that comes through forgiveness.
Thank You for healing my heart and drawing me closer to You.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Bible Verses About Forgiveness
Colossians 3:13
“Bear with each other and forgive one another… Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Ephesians 4:31–32
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger… Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Matthew 6:14–15
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”
Luke 6:37
“Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”
Psalm 103:12
“As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.”
Frequently Asked Questions
What if I don’t feel ready to forgive?
Forgiveness often begins as a choice rather than a feeling. Ask God to help you take the first step. Over time, He can soften your heart and bring healing.
Does forgiving someone mean I have to trust them again?
Not necessarily. Trust is rebuilt through consistent change and may take time. Forgiveness and trust are related, but they are not the same.
Can I forgive someone who never apologised?
Yes. Your decision to forgive is based on your obedience to God, not on whether the other person admits they were wrong.
Why did Jesus make forgiveness so important?
Because forgiveness reflects the heart of the Gospel. God has forgiven us through Christ, and He calls His children to extend that same grace to others.
Final Thoughts
Forgiveness is one of the most challenging commands in Scripture, but it is also one of the most freeing.
When you choose to forgive, you are not saying that what happened was acceptable. You are choosing to release the burden of bitterness and place the situation into God’s hands.
Jesus understood the cost of forgiveness better than anyone.
Even as He hung on the cross, He prayed:
“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” — Luke 23:34
If Christ could extend forgiveness in the midst of unimaginable suffering, He can give us the strength to forgive those who have hurt us.
As you come before God in prayer, ask Him to search your heart.
If there is unforgiveness, surrender it to Him.
He is able to heal what is broken, restore what has been damaged, and replace bitterness with His peace.
Choose forgiveness.
Walk in freedom.
And let your prayers rise from a heart that is open to God’s transforming grace.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” — Ephesians 4:32
Continue Growing in Your Prayer Life
Forgiveness is an essential part of a healthy prayer life. Continue your journey by exploring our articles on How to Pray According to the Bible, The Importance of Thanksgiving Prayer, The Persistence of Prayer, How to Keep Faith After Praying, The Believer’s Authority in Prayer, and Prayers for Spiritual Strength. As you grow in prayer and obedience, you’ll discover the freedom, peace, and joy that come from walking closely with God.